People felt they ‘failed’ loved ones over funerals during pandemic, inquiry told

A ban on large gatherings for funerals imposed during the pandemic has left a lot of people with complex feelings of anger and guilt around their inability to give their loved ones a proper send-off, an inquiry has heard.

Fiona Arnott-Barron, chief executive of bereavement support charity Cruse Scotland, said relatives and friends of people who died during the worst of the pandemic reported feeling they had “failed” them for not being able to look after them or arrange regular-sized funerals or receptions.

She told the Scottish Covid-19 Inquiry those feelings persist in many people who come to the charity for support, along with feelings of anger towards politicians who were later found to have flouted restrictions on gatherings the public were expected to follow.

The inquiry’s worship and life events impact hearings began on Tuesday, with evidence taken from faith leaders from different denominations including the Catholic Church and the Free Church of Scotland.

Ms Arnott-Barron told junior counsel to the inquiry Christopher Stephens that cases of Covid-19 became the third most common cause of death people cited as the reason they were coming to Cruse Scotland for help to cope with.

“I would say the complexity of people’s grief was something that we had never seen before,” she said.

“It’s just hard to put it into words … a lot of anger, most definitely.”

Asked to explain the anger felt by those bereaved, Ms Arnott-Barron said it mostly stemmed from them not being allowed to care for their loves ones or attend funerals to pay respects.

“There was huge anger at people not being able to have people at funerals that they wanted or not being able to be with the person who was dying,” she said.

“It’s fair to say there was a lot of anger when things came out in the media about politicians that hadn’t adhered to the restrictions.”

She continued: “Some people want to have a wake (after a funeral) – that’s what the person might have wanted or expected.

“But families not feeling they could fulfil what they felt was the right thing was really, really difficult.

“I mean, not even being able to go for a cup of tea afterwards (was) really, really challenging.”

Moving on to discuss the long-term impacts of the pandemic Ms Arnott-Barron said people seeking support around bereavement still talked about feeling guilty over not being able to arrange proper send-offs for loved ones.

“There is still a lot of feelings around that – the guilt is just huge, the feeling of failure that they let their loved one down,” she said.

“It’s something that just keeps recurring.”

The inquiry, before Lord Brailsford, continues.