Sky Sports' Johnny Phillips: Sorry Pep, that’s a load of... rubbish

Not from Pep Guardiola on Tuesday night after his Manchester City side edged past Wolves in a penalty shoot-out in the Carabao Cup.

This was Paul Gascoigne speaking to England assistant manager Lawrie McMenemy as they wandered down the Wembley tunnel to the home dressing room at half-time. It came after a particularly frustrating 45 minutes against San Marino in February 1993. San Marino - the very definition of an international minnow.

The moment was captured by documentary cameras from the Channel Four programme An Impossible Job, that chronicled England’s shambolic 1994 World Cup qualification campaign under Graha Taylor that ultimately ended in failure.

At Wembley, England fans were frustrated at a mere 2-0 lead after San Marino – population 25,000 and with no professional football league – had conceded 10 away to Norway earlier in the group stages. Gazza and his colleagues were supposed to have taken apart the tiny state’s football team from the first minute.

In truth, the ball wasn’t s**t at Wembley 24 years ago just as it wasn’t at the Etihad Stadium on Tuesday night. But sometimes frustration can get the better of one’s judgment, leading to such irrational outbursts.

Guardiola’s claim about the Mitre ball – “It is too light, it moves all over the place, it is not a good ball. It is impossible to score with a ball like that and I can say that because we won, I’m not making excuses,” – doesn’t really stand up to examination. Especially as the EFL took up the challenge and tweeted out a video of City midfielder Yaya Toure scoring a 30 yard screamer in the League Cup final three years ago with a Mitre ball.

Unfortunately, this column doesn’t possess the necessary funding to carry out a rigorous laboratory testing of both the EFL Mitre balls and the Premier League Nike balls but it does have some experience in the field to call upon.

From time to time, at the end of each season, some used EFL and Premier League balls find their way into the hands of London Football League Weekend Sunday AM Premier Division outfit Heroes of Waterloo.

Having spent many a fruitless morning turning out on the fields of Hackney Marshes, Wormwood Scrubs and other stunning locations around the capital, playing up front for this illustrious team, I can vouch for the truer flight of the EFL ball when compared to the Premier League ball. It is a view shared by my team-mates.

In fact – as if that wasn’t evidence enough? – there are plenty of goalkeepers within the professional ranks who complain about the greater movement of the Premier League balls when they step up from the EFL.

One suspects Guardiola himself did not really believe what he was saying on Tuesday evening either. He was frustrated but he was also calculating.

It was, like many managers’ post-match utterances, a diversion tactic. He had fielded a weakened side but one with enough within the ranks to get past a second string Wolves.

That they couldn’t find a single goal in two hours of play would have been a major cause for concern, especially as Guardiola started with his star strike pairing of Sergio Aguero and Gabriel Jesus.

Not even the introduction of Leroy Sane and, player of the season so far, Kevin De Bruyne could break Wolves’ resistance. Other Premier League clubs would have taken note.

Rather than focus on the shortcomings of his own players, the manager dipped into his imagination and came up with that creative justification. Guardiola even excused the excuse by saying he was entitled to the view because City won. They didn’t; they drew the game but went through on penalties. There is a significant difference.

Guardiola’s diversion tactics worked and that is no bad thing from the point of view of City’s players.

Like his cross-city rival Jose Mourinho, there is an art to deflecting criticism. Mourinho became the master practitioner of this during his first spell in charge at Chelsea. It was one of the reasons his players developed such a bond with him. During his early years at Stamford Bridge there were several big disciplinary issues to deal with on and off the pitch but Mourinho, to the fury of rivals, often made the post-match analysis all about himself.

That takes an enormous pressure off the players. On Tuesday night, do you think Guardiola will have walked back into the dressing room after his media briefings and said to the players, “Don’t worry lads, the ball was rubbish.”?

Of course not, he will have taken them to task for a sub-standard performance against a Wolves side that made nine changes from last weekend’s win over Preston.

The one major flaw in Pep’s argument was the credibility of the complaint.

He has form, though. Back in 2014, after his Bayern Munich side lost a Champions’ League match against Atletico Madrid he blamed the pitch.

Even before the match, members of his staff had come out and actually measured the length of the grass. “The movement of the ball was slow and the pitch didn’t help. The grass was dry and we knew it would be like this” he said of the playing surface at the Vicente Calderon.

Back in the winter of 1993, after taking stock of the situation, Gazza and co re-emerged for the second half against San Marino and won 6-0. Who knows, maybe City will go all the way and win the Carabao Cup itself. Whatever happens, Guardiola certainly showed some balls coming out with an excuse like that.