Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on baked beans, bottled water and the perfect tool for WW3

In preparation for the upcoming Third World War (come as you are, date to be confirmed), “security advisers” across Europe are urging us to stockpile essentials such as tinned food, bottled water, a first-aid kit and a Swiss Army knife.

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If you've ever tried to open all the tools on a multi-bladed knife, you won't need telling what the first-aid kit is for. You may not, however, understand the purpose of the knife's long, sharp steel point. In my Boy Scout days, our troop leader told me it was for helping old ladies across the road. Do not leave your bunker without one.

Anyway, the WW3 survival kit looks much the same as the collection of candles, firelighters, corned beef, baked beans and suchlike I stashed away in the early days of the pandemic five years ago. 

It was kept under my bed and known as GAB, Grandad's Armageddon Box, but lockdown was over long before we needed to use it. Post-pandemic, my stash was gradually transferred from bedroom to kitchen and I rediscovered my childhood taste for corned-beef hash.