Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on dim meters, product placement at the Trump shooting and the true aim of football

The current issue of the Oldie magazine features Griff Rhys Jones.

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Griff Rhys Jones – happy days

He writes a funny piece about a stalker who tried to persuade him that his comedy partner, the late Mel Smith, was trying to kill him. Which proves that if a writer has a light enough touch, he can get a laugh out of the grimmest subject.

I found myself transported back to those happy days of Alas Smith and Jones in the 1980s and their sketch about a school sports teacher introducing his pupils to football. Time after time he drills home the question: “What is the aim of football?” Time after time the kids dutifully respond with the hallowed mantra: “The aim of football is to get into the penalty area and fall over.”