Peter Rhodes on royal titles, unkind satire and getting some good news from the NHS

Edward admits that he's not yet accustomed to his current title (sometimes forgetting he is the Duke of Edinburgh) as, indeed, are the rest of us. Changing your name is a burden of pomp. We male commoners stick with one simple name through our entire life. An aristocratic male, on the other hand, may be born The Honourable, but, as other males in the family die, becomes Viscount Thingummy and later Lord Wossname. I bet half the noble heads of Europe wake up each day and think: “Who the hell am I?”

For years, the satirical magazine Private Eye has shown its scorn for the monarchy by referring to the late Queen as Brenda and her son, now King Charles, as Brian. Now that the King has been diagnosed with cancer, might it be time to show a little sensitivity? Apparently not. The current edition, reporting royal illnesses, refers in passing to “Brian's cancer announcement” and describes the indisposed monarch as “the hobbled Brian.” Not big, not clever.