Peter Rhodes on stealing limos, freezing assets and the lance-corporal who wants to be a panto villain
Vicky McClure stars as the bomb-disposal officer Lana Washington in a new series of Trigger Point (ITV). In one of the publicity photos an unfortunate shadow means the logo on her flak jacket appears to say not “Explosives Officer” but “Explosive Officer,” which is something entirely different You wouldn't want to stand next to one of those.
A fascinating video emerged at the weekend showing two scallies stealing a £70,000 Range Rover in North London, in less than a minute while the neighbourhood slept. It looks like a well-rehearsed job. First they use a crowbar to drop the driver's window then one scrambles inside to start the engine, presumably with a keyless electronic gizmo, and drive off. But what happened next? Where on earth did the Range Rover go?
The UK market for these “Chelsea tractors” is hardly booming now that repeated thefts have made them virtually uninsurable. But in some places, notably Africa, the Balkans and the Gulf, stolen limos like this are snapped up, no questions asked, by the local Mr Bigs. Last year alone Essex Police seized 60 shipping containers stuffed with Range Rovers, Bentleys and other high-end motors and car parts, destined for foreign shores. I'm not sure how to begin tackling such a vast and profitable international trade but has anyone considered making shipping containers with glass sides?
Harry Clark, the lance-corporal aircraft technician in the Army who won The Traitors (BBC1) says his future interests may include “acting in a panto as an evil villain.” And why not? Panto is great fun and the pay is good. I suspect Clark is not the only TV sensation with one eye on Cinderella, Dick Whittington or Aladdin. Over on Gladiators (BBC1) the snarling bad-boy Gladiator known as Viper seems to be auditioning each week as a particularly nasty Abanazar. Oh, yes he does.
Incidentally, while I'm sure we all wish Harry Clark well, I can't help thinking this country st present has more need of an army technician than a wicked magician.
“Baroness Bra Has Her Assets Frozen.” Have you noticed how some news headlines seem to come straight from the Two Ronnies? And that's goodnight from me . . . .
