Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on kilts, midges and the old, old debate about booze

“It is years late coming into service and also has an unfortunate tendency to crash which, from a military viewpoint, is distinctly sub-optimal.”

Published
Watch out for the paparazzi

Mark Francois MP, describing the British Army's accident-prone Watchkeeper drone which is undergoing a “value for money” inquiry.

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While King Charles wears kilts, Prince William avoids them. There is much speculation about his antipathy to the plaid (knobbly knees, draughtiness, fear of midge bites, etc?) but I guess it may be something altogether more sinister.

Will must be aware that if he ventured out in kilts, there would be a million-dollar bounty waiting for the first paparazzi photographer to snap the Windsor family jewels.

Rhodes in kilt

Now I think of it, somewhere in this newspaper's archives is an image of me wearing a kilt for a feature on a sudden resurgence in its popularity some years ago. I recall feeling rather distinguished.

But the next time I encountered the garment was in a kilt-hire shop in Fife. I was toying with the idea of wearing one as best man at my youngest brother's wedding. The customer in front of me was returning his kilt after some riotous function and you couldn't help noticing that half his ear had been bitten off. Wimpishly, I chose a dinner jacket instead.

*** This week's research suggesting even a single alcoholic drink can raise your blood pressure will not be the last word on the vexed issue of whether booze in moderation is good or bad for us. Only a few weeks ago the TV doctor Michael Mosley was singing the praises of red wine: “A glass of the grape can be great for the gut.”

Expect more of the same as the new blood-pressure research is dissected and challenged. I was drawn a few days ago to a feature in the US magazine The Atlantic with the heading: “The latest alcohol advice ignores the value of pleasure.” Fair point. ***

Facing an epidemic of shoplifting, Whitehall promises to get tough by jailing repeat offenders. According to government sources: “The trigger for a custodial sentence for repeat shoplifting would likely be between 10 and 20 instances.”

So that's 19 strikes and you're still in. You can almost hear the thieves cackling with glee.