Comment: Peter Rhodes on wine from Brum, bacon with syrup and how best to address politicians

Climate scientists at Reading University predict that as a result of global warming, vineyards around Birmingham could one day produce excellent grapes. Or as they will be known locally, gripes.

The Scottish brewer Brew Dog has been banned from using an advert which suggested its fruit-flavoured beers were "one of your five a day". It was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek but somebody complained and the Advertising Standards Authority intervened. And perhaps rightly so. When it comes to portions of fruit and veg, some people can be seriously self-deluding. I recall some years ago a reader asked whether he could achieve his five-a-day by spending more time playing fruit machines.

Channel 4 News presenter Krishnan Guru-Murthy was forced to apologise a few weeks ago after he was overheard referring to the Tory MP Steve Baker as a ****. You may gather from this that Guru-Murthy has a robust approach to politicians. Not always, it seem. A few days ago he smilingly welcomed Green Party MP Caroline Lucas to the show as "Caroline". Sweet.

Maybe it's a generational thing but the more I see of Harry and Meghan's quotes, the less sense I can make of them. Take this scene-setter from Harry: “No one knows the full truth. We know the full truth. The institution knows the full truth. And the media know the full truth because they’ve been in on it.” So, just for the sake of clarity, Harry, who knows the full truth? Is it nobody - or lots of people?

Contrast Harry's confusing outbursts with the simple clarity of the King's English, as used by the fuel watchdog the Competition and Markets Authority. It describes the infuriating hikes in petrol prices as: “Up like a rocket and down like a feather.”

Incidentally, none of the above alters the fact that Harry had a wretched, traumatic childhood and probably deserves more sympathy than he's getting.

Ah, what could be better on a crisp frosty morning than coffee and brunch at a cosy little cafe? I chose the streaky bacon on waffles and maple syrup. You know how it is when you convince yourself something must taste better than it sounds? Hmm.