Peter Rhodes on EU marchers, risky tweeting and why Tories and Labour are not so far apart

Number-crunching. Number of protestors in weekend “Rejoin the EU” march in London: about 15,000. Number who voted in 2016 to leave the EU: about 17.4 million. A long way to go, my Europhile chums.

A 72-year-old US man holds joint Saudi/US citizenship and lives in Florida where he posted some online comments complaining about the demolition of ancient building in Saudi Arabia and the murder of the journalist Jamal Khashoggi. Later, he visited family in the kingdom and discovered that Saudi spooks had been monitoring his postings. Result: 16 years in prison for “harbouring terrorist ideologies.” Moral: If you wouldn't shout something from the rooftops, don't even think of putting it online. The world out there is a wicked – and wired -place.

My suggestion a few days ago that Conservative and Labour are “ two very similar social-democratic parties snarling at each other and pretending to be different,” has sparked the traditional venom-spitting between readers who seriously believe that one of these parties stands for goodness while the other is the embodiment of evil.

So consider the long list of things they have in common. Both Lab and Con support the constitutional monarchy, an independent judiciary, law and order, restricted immigration, the nuclear deterrent, the NHS, comprehensive schools, patriotism, a united UK, the unification of Ireland (on a democratic vote), a free Ukraine, Brexit, renewable energy and trains that run on time.

With Corbyn gone and Farage running a chat show, politics has rarely been so bland. This explains why the most piffling of issues, like the paperwork for sausages in Ulster, are elevated to superstar status. Does this ring a bell?

You may be thinking of Gulliver's Travels in which Jonathan Swift introduces us to two warring sects who have fallen out over the burning issue of which end of a boiled egg should be removed before eating.

The row between Big-Endians and Little-Endians had given rise to “six rebellions . . .wherein one Emperor lost his life, and another his crown.” That's the way we're heading.