Rhodes on French elections, people smuggling and a beer that refuses to go away

See? That's how the French do elections. In the first round they vote for the candidates they like. Then, in the second round, they vote for the candidates they don't like. The one they dislike less than the other one is elected president. Then, in the regional elections they vote against the president. Then they riot. Life is so much simpler in a monarchy, n'est ce pas?

England and Wales have 43 separate police forces which means 43 different views on how to enforce the law. The results can be curious.

For example, during lockdown, Boris Johnson was deemed by the Metropolitan Police to have committed an offence by encountering a birthday cake in his own home. Yet Keir Starmer travelled 200 miles and had a beer with colleagues but is deemed by Durham Police not to have committed any offence.

“There was absolutely no comparison with the Prime Minister,” declared the Labour leader when the police cleared him. Well, some people think there is a very clear comparison.

If both cases had been investigated by the same police force, might Starmer and Johnson both have been fined or both have been cleared? The Northern Echo reports this week that Tory MP Richard Holden MP is urging Durham Police to re-examine the Starmer incident and is “demanding Starmer receive the same treatment as the Conservative leader”. I suspect this is not going to go away.

It is reported that some young male migrants in Calais say they would rather stay in France than come to England and risk being flown to Rwanda. That, presumably, is part of the UK Government's strategy. But at every stage in this affair, the people-smugglers have outwitted politicians and border authorities. If “family groups” are allowed into Britain, then expect a sudden increase in “families” supplied, at a price, by the smugglers. I bet the evil haggling has already started in Calais: “ You want a 'wife' and a couple of kids? Coming right up . . .”

Meanwhile, in Paris the Beeb has repeatedly reported that if Marine Le Pen had been elected, she would be France's first far-right leader. Really? I'm sure I recall another French leader who was a bit of a right-winger. Small bloke, big horse, hand stuffed in jacket . . ?