Rhodes on customer service, beating crime and telling the truth about pork

Here's a strange thing. I received a reminder letter to renew my bus pass. To do so, I need the bus pass number. However, I mislaid the pass some months ago and thus have no number. As a rule when a glitch like this happens, the system crashes and someone tells you they've never had a problem like this before, and please go to the back of the queue.

So with heavy heart I rang the bus pass office. First surprise: It was answered by a human being. Second surprise: She said not having a number was no big deal and “We can sort it out”. Third surprise: She said there's no need for a new pass photo. All done in a couple of minutes. This is what used to be called customer service. I can't see it catching on, can you?.

According to the Guardian, official documents leaked to the newspaper suggest that the public do not believe ministers' promises to tackle crime. I'm not sure you need documents, leaked or not, to reach that conclusion. Public awareness of the Government's Beating Crime Plan is said to be “low”.

Is anyone surprised? On the day this item was reported, a friend told me he'd finally heard from the cops about the driver who crashed into his car some months ago, leaving him injured, and then fled the scene. The driver was caught only because a passer-by noted the number plate. And the punishment for careless driving and leaving the scene of an accident? The offender has been told to attend a driver-awareness course. So that's no conviction and no fine. In other words, something that had always been an offence is no longer an offence. Why bother beating crime when you can simply decriminalise crime?

To be fair, this is nothing new. Years ago a friend's handbag was stolen. One moment it was next to her in the pub, the next it had been swiped. She went straight to the local police station (remember those?) where the desk sergeant refused to log the incident as anything other than “lost property”.

Too much information? I overheard a snatch of conversation in a restaurant. A pre-schooler asked his mother what gammon was. She explained: “Well, you know Peppa Pig . . ?”