Peter Rhodes on royal trains, saying sorry and the ultimate catch from 136,700 miles away

The coming to earth of a Japanese space capsule carrying rock samples from a distant asteroid could have been so much more exciting. The object landed in the Australian Outback after being released from a probe 136,700 miles high. It's only the size of a dish and descended gently by parachute. In a nation obsessed with cricket, this was surely an easy challenge. Next time, let's see Oz's finest scattered across the landing zone, eyes peeled on the heavens, ready to catch the capsule with a hearty “Howzat!”

Brexit coincidence. When Boris Johnson meets Ursula von der Leyen, president of the European Commission, they have more than politics in common. She is a mother of seven while Boris is rumoured to be the father of seven.

However, while von der Leyen's kids are a matter of public record, our PM has never confirmed the exact number of his offspring (“At least six” is Wikipedia's reckoning). It is, like so much in politics, a grey area.

Sometimes, sorry is the easiest word to say. I've lost count of the showbiz and sporting celebrities who, over the past few weeks, have apologised for breaking Covid-19 rules. They offend, they apologise and all is expected to be forgotten. And because we have never demanded particularly high standards of most stars, it all blows over. The Sky News presenter Kay Burley is the latest to apologise after her 60th birthday party appeared to break the tier rules. Sorry, so sorry. But that's not good enough.

Kay Burley holds the powerful to account. She is a great reporter and the reason she is so popular with viewers is her dogged questioning. But it only works if the questioner is squeaky-clean. Today, her credibility is not shattered but is certainly dented. How, for example, could she report on Dominic Cummings' travels when she herself broke the rules for the sake of a party? In one breath, Burley calls the incident “an error of judgment,” in the next breath she says she “inadvertently broke the rules.” Can't you picture her on top form, ruthlessly dissecting any politician who made such claims? “Oh, come on, minister, was it inadvertent or an error of judgment? It can't be both . . .”

How a monarchy works. If you take your car out, you may be stopped by police and asked to prove your trip is essential. If you take an entire train out, the cops will salute you.

I do not envy the Windsors much but I do covet that Royal Train. It is all that's finest in luxury rail travel (gourmet food, comfortable beds, plenty of servants, etc) but with none of those horrible, irritating, smelly and sometimes drunken things that can turn a railway journey into hell on earth. Remind me again, what are they called? Ah, yes: “other people.” As William and Kate will have been discovering, the best way to see one's loyal subjects is from a distance.