Peter Rhodes: Easy to lose?

FOR the second time since they were issued, I have discovered a lost £5 note in a pocket. I can only conclude that a) the new fiver is thinner than the old one and easier to miss, or b) subconsciously we regard anything plastic as worthless.

THE most I have ever found in a long-unused pocket was a princely £38 on holiday in Devon. There is something wonderfully easily-spendable about money you didn't know you had. Any tales of unexpected bounty in the trouser department, so to speak?

YOU have to admire the sheer imagination that has gone into casting the new series of Broadchurch (ITV). It is a gritty, wince-making cop drama, examining the brutal, humiliating offence of rape. Surprisingly, the cast includes three great comedians: Charlie Higson from the Fast Show, Lenny Henry and Roy Hudd. Higson admits he was “amazed” to get the part of Ian. If this series ends in court, who will hear the case – Judge Rinder?

LONG ago, just before the Thatcher government launched the hated poll tax, I met a Tory election candidate who said: “Wherever I go, people tell me the poll tax is the fairest tax they've ever known.” It emerged that “wherever I go” was a number of Conservative Clubs he had visited on his campaign trail. So a Tory candidate hears support for a Tory tax from the Tory faithful. I was reminded of him this week when Jeremy Corbyn, apparently unmoved by the nightmare of Copeland and Labour's disastrous polls, warned us not to underestimate support for his party across the country. How can he be so deluded? Probably because wherever Corbyn goes, he hears his loyal supporters chanting “Jeremy!” and applauding his policies. It is easy to kid yourself that the wide-eyed activists you meet are just ordinary folk and that when they chant your name in adulation it is the authentic voice of Britain. It ain't.

YOU and Yours (Radio 4) was not only setting the agenda but guaranteeing the result this week with its phone-in entitled: “Is the UK letting down its nurses?” Well, who's going to contradict that? Sure enough, a selection of callers, including several nurses, phoned to tell us how skilled they were but how overworked and underrated and how morale was at rock-bottom. In the interests of balance, it would have been good to hear someone saying: “Nah, they're just a bunch of overpaid slappers, out to marry a doctor” but there was no dissent. Nurses are angels and whatever they are paid, it's not enough, got it? Next week on You and Yours: “Aren't baby hamsters sweet?”

WE are always being urged to support local businesses which explains why Mrs Rhodes and I eschewed McDonald's and Costa this week and lunched at ye olde local teashoppe. I ordered a small coffee and got a large one. I asked for a pain au chocolat and was given a croissant and jam. Mrs Rhodes ordered soup which took 25 minutes to arrive, and then only after reminding the waitress, who avoided eye-contact. Yes, you don't get service like that from the multinationals.

ESCHEWED. That's a word I haven't used for a long time. Anyone got a tissue?