Mark Andrews: 'I'll have a wee beer, please', cancel culture, and why Kneecap sound more Val Doonican than Bobby Sands

Sounds irresistible doesn't it? An Austrian company which rents out public lavatories to building sites and music festivals is planning to launch a beer made from the urine it collects. 

Who wouldn't want to experience that? Maybe it will start a trend, I'm sure it will be only a matter of time before every Z-list celebrity will be launching their own beer range, made from their own, ahem, waste product.

The thing is, I'm not sure the Oklopisner - see what they did there? - is as unique or original as they claim. In fact I thought that beer made from urine had been on sale for years.

It's called lager.

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Talking of pretentious twaddle, a number of musicians, including Paul Weller and Pulp, have signed a letter in support of rap group Kneecap, which is facing a backlash after calling urging fans to 'kill your local MP'.

The luvvies have accuse 'senior political figures' in Westminster and the UK media of being 'openly engaged in a campaign to remove Kneecap from the public eye'.

Remove from the public eye? Hands up, until this week, who had heard of them?

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According to the sages of The Guardian, Kneecap is all about 'fusing irony and provocation'. Which I suppose is Guardian-speak for 'no talent'.

The irony bit probably comes from the fact that the one person who had heard of Kneecap - charmingly named after the IRA's preferred punishment of shooting people in the kneecaps - was Kemi Badenoch, who they tried to sue after the then business secretary blocked their £15,000 arts grant 

Now, when it comes to free speech, I'm pretty much for defending people's right to say whatever they want, however offensive. But even for a libertarian like me, urging fans to murder their MP is probably pushing the boundaries a little too far.

And while it's one thing defending people's rights to be total drongos, which they evidently are, it's another asking the British taxpayer to fund it.

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It seems the Prime Minister agrees, too. His spokesman this week said he did not think 'individuals expressing those views should be receiving government funding'.

Hear, hear. It's always good to have a consensus of common sense. So why did his government, in November last year, cave in to Kneecap's demands, overturn Mrs Badenoch's ruling, and agree to give the group 15 grand of public funds after all?

Irony and provocation, I presume.

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Rappers, of course, are pop stars who can't sing or play musical instruments. And for all the anti-establishment, anarchic protestations, the band doesn't really live up to the hype.

Lead singer DJ Próvaí, alias J J Ó Dochartaigh - that's Jim O'Docherty to me or you - is a 36-year-old former schoolteacher, known for wearing an IRA-style balaclava on stage. Didn't want his pupils to recognise him, apparently. 

You know the type. Thinks he's Bobby Sands. Looks more Val Doonican in a face mask.

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Talking of irony, an exhibition of mildly contentious art work, entitled Licence to Offend, was due to have opened in London this week as a protest against 'cancel culture'. 

So, of course, the show, which features such controversial material as cartoons from The Times, was cancelled. Because the venue feared it might cause offence.

Which, I suppose, proves the point that it was trying to make.