Mark Andrews: Eco-distress, Dr Finlay's 'toolkit, and a new dawn for our bus and train services

I bet Dr Finlay's chuffed by that. We are constantly being told how doctors are leaving the NHS in droves because they don't have time to give patients the proper time and attention they need. If the Royal College of Physicians gets its way, they won't even be able to prescribe antibiotics without a discussion about the rain forests or something.

I dare say a few 'activist' zealots will relish the chance to get on their soapbox, but I'm pretty sure a conversation about carbon emissions is the last thing the average quack wants added to their workload.

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GPs are also being told to look out for symptoms of 'eco-distress', anxiety and depression caused by climate change. Yep, never mind the backlog of people waiting for consultant referrals as a result of the coronavirus, let's focus on Millennials scared stiff about greenhouse gases because their teachers told them we're all going to fry.

Just an idea. But if the Royal College of Physicians is serious about tackling 'eco-distress', it would do better to lobby schools to stop indoctrinating kids. Prevention is better than cure.

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You won't be too surprised that the Royal College's proposals form something that is described as a 'green toolkit'. My reaction to anybody who talks about a 'toolkit' – unless it involves at least two spanners and a screwdriver – is very much the same as it is to people who talk about 'workshops'. Take it with a metaphorical pinch of salt.

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In the same week that the new Labour government outlined its plans to dismantle the rail franchising system, the new Labour mayor for the West Midlands took the first steps towards creating a similar system for bus services.

If this sounds counter-intuitive, I suspect that the outcome of both of these initiatives will be remarkably similar. First of all, both the buses and the trains will change colour, all being painted and wrapped in their new corporate liveries. And then, er, well... actually that's it.

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Meanwhile, Dudley Council says it may need to introduce parking charges to avoid following the likes of Birmingham, Nottingham and Northamptonshire into bankruptcy. I can't help but wonder how many people would rather see the council go bust than face being fleeced every time they go into town.