Mark Andrews: Making the Proms more inclusive, cuddly, progressive tsars, and stupidity of 'equal pay' which is nothing of the sort

Which people? As far as I can see, the only people who could possibly be offended by Rule Britannia would be those who aren't particularly fond of this country, and don't think our history is something to celebrate. Which probably suggests Last Night of the Proms is really for them.

You hate to think what an 'inclusive' Last Night will look like if Thangam gets a say in it. Packed crowds waving Extinction Rebellion banners, Just Stop Oil throwing orange paint over the bust of 'colonialist' Sir Henry Wood. Maybe that quartet who used to be on the Jonathan Ross Show, whose name I couldn't possibly repeat. And a standing ovation for the BBC Concert Choir's rousing rendition of From the River to the Sea.

What better way of capturing the essence of 21st century Britain?

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Meanwhile, the Government has appointed Fiyaz Mughal as its new tsar against Islamophobia. I guess we've got Tony Blair to thank for that, as it was he who started the trend for appointing unelected officials to tackle whatever problem was dominating the headlines that day.

The odd thing is, that all these tsars are named after the Russian emperors who ruled with an iron fist from the 15th century until 1917, and they weren't particularly noted for their progressive values, or their commitment to diversity.

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That's World Book Day out of the way for another year, which will come as a great relief to both parents and many kids across the land.

You might think World Book Day would be something to do with books, encouraging to put down their electronic devices and focus more on reading. But as far as I can see, it seems to have become just another dressing-up fest. often with only the most tenuous link to the world of literature.

Which is great news if you run a fancy-dress shop, but pants for parents who have to try to find outfits. Not to mention a day of lost education.

I think if I were a parent of young children I would call the teacher's bluff by sending them to school as the most disturbing outfit I could think of. Albert Pierrepoint maybe. Or how about Jack the Ripper. Let's see if they stick that on their hashtag.

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The leader of Birmingham Council, John Cotton, has apologised to the people of the city after increasing the council tax by 21 per cent, and cutting services by £300 million

And I'm going to do something totally out of character and cut him some slack. While financial incompetence may have been a factor, it seems most of Birmingham's problems stem from a so-called 'equal pay' claim, which as far as I can see is nothing to do with equality and everything to do with the rampant wokeism which is crippling our public services.

You may well presume that the 'equal pay' ruling related to workers doing the same job, who were being paid different amounts. But no, what it is actually about is a court ruling that female-dominated occupations such as cooks and carers should be paid the same as male-dominated jobs such as dustmen and grave diggers. Which are tougher, dirtier and, I would suggest, worthy of higher pay.

So Birmingham Council faces a compensation bill of £1.7 billion, and financial meltdown.