Mark Andrews: Raising the retirement age, Martin's lost for words, and how to keep you pants cool in the summer
A new survey says 70 per cent of the population want to see the pension age lowered. Yes, and probably 85 per cent want a yacht in the Med, and 92 per cent would like better weather.
And if you had asked people, say in September last year, whether they would like lower taxes and more money for public services, I'm pretty sure the response would also have been positive. I think there used to be a name for this kind of thing. Trussonomics, maybe? Or was it Corbynomics? Hard to tell the difference. Both were about the triumph of hope over reality.
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Now this is unlikely to appear in any election manifesto, but if we want a decent retirement, it would be better to raise the pension age.
The maths are clear. An ageing population, caused by falling birthrates and people living longer, means rocketing pension costs and a relative decline in the number of workers to cover them.
Some argue more migrant workers are the answer. There are even some who want incentives to produce more children. But given that we have a housing crisis fuelled by a 15 per cent growth in population over the past 30 years, it is hard to see how either would be sustainable.
When the state pension was introduced in 1908, a relatively small number of people lived long enough to collect it, and even then, it was usually for a short time. Today there are people in their late 60s and early 70s far fitter and healthier than their grandparents would have been in their 40s or 50s.
Of course there are some occupations for which you need to be young, but most of us can work until we're 70.
If people are living longer, it is just common sense they will have to work for longer.
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Like 98.5 per cent of the population, I missed Holly Willoughby's tip on ITV's This Morning about cleaning your filthy trainers by sticking them in the dishwasher. On balance I don't think I've missed too much.
Now a lady called Lynsey Crombie, who sometimes appears on the show as the 'Queen of Clean', advises against this after a not-entirely-successful attempt to remove duck poo from her own plimsolls.
Well if This Morning's booking agents are reading, I've got a couple of 'hacks' to share with your viewers, for the appropriate fee.
On a hot day, try putting your underpants in the freezer so they are nice and cool. And if it's a cold day, put them in the microwave, so they will be warm and toasty. Unless they catch fire, obviously. Then the Queen of Clean will probably advise you against it.
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Also on This Morning, 'Money Saving Expert' Martin Lewis was reportedly lost for words after hearing a couple had taken out a mortgage 40 years ago, only to discover at the end of its term that it was interest-only.
Now it's easy to blame the bank, but if one is careless enough to borrow enough money to buy a house without checking how it will be repaid, it is hard to see it as anything but a self-inflicted wound.