Mark Andrews: Domination in the civil service, how to get rid of tuition fees, and why republicans should be careful what they wish for

Fetish fans working in the Ministry of Justice say are discriminated against and need protection. Well if it means they want to bring back the birch, what's not to like?

This is the department, you might recall, where officials accused Dominic Raab of bullying when he allegedly said their work was 'woeful'.

They don't like that type of domination then.

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Sir Keir Starmer has dropped his pledge to scrap university tuition fees, saying it is no longer affordable. Come on Sir Keir, surely your windfall tax would cover that?

Yet this is one sensible policy he could easily deliver if he had the courage to repudiate the mistake of a predecessor.

Up until 1998, nobody in the country paid tuition fees. And then Tony Blair, with his daft pledge of 50 per cent of young people going to university, decided it would be a good idea for half of twenty-somethings to start their working lives thousands in debt. Got to fund those courses in pop music, puppetry or golf-course management somehow.

Sir Keir should pledge to subsidise universities to the same level they were in the 1990s, when only a quarter of young people attended. No fees for those who study the core subjects that business demands, but those who study golf or pop music can pay in full. Plus a couple of grand surcharge to invest in schools.

It might be wise to ask for the cash up front, though. They're never going to repay their loans while working in McDonalds.

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Hope you all enjoy your coronation weekend, however you choose to celebrate.

And it's great to see those fun-loving party animals at the pressure group Republic getting into the swing of things. While the rest of us will party with beer, champagne, ice cream and jelly, those funsters will mark the occasion by wearing yellow T-shirts and driving down to London to hear a bloke with a comb-over telling them they are 'citizens, not subjects'.

What amuses me is their assumption that an elected head of state would be more representative of themselves.

My suspicion is that if they had their way, the first presidential election would be won not by an earnest technocrat with a nerdy passion for electoral reform, but by a brash populist who is great on the campaign trail. Someone with experience of high office, but an easy manner with voters, who uses cheery metaphors to tell folk what they want to hear. Probably with a slightly dishevelled appearance and long blond hair.

Be careful what you wish for, citizens...