Mark Andrews: Taxing time with the Revenue, culture-war football, and why I disagree with Nick
This week I tried to call HM Revenue and Customs to declare a bit of outside work. After negotiating various automated menus, recorded messages suggesting I go online instead, and then arguing with voice-activated robots, I was finally put in a queue. And kept on hold for another half hour, before giving up.
If this is what it is like when you are offering to declare extra income, imagine how they handle those trying to avoid paying tax.
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It's not as if they don't need the money. The NHS Confederation is stumping up £20,000 to a group or individual for "Equipping senior healthcare leaders with the knowledge and confidence to model meaningful trans and non-binary allyship."
Something we've all been demanding for years. Anyway, I'd better get my application in, 20 grand should just about cover next year's gas bill.
Let's just hope they don't expect me to declare it to the taxman.
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Sir Nick Clegg in 2010, explaining his opposition to investment in nuclear power: "There's no way they are going to have new nuclear on stream until 2021 or 2022, so it's not even an answer."
Still I'm sure he shares our pain. After all, it's not going to be cheap, heating the pool at his Californian mansion. We're all in this together.
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Not that Nick's the only offender by any means. Successive governments of all colours kicked the energy problem into the long grass, particularly with regard to nuclear and fracking. Coal-fired power stations such as Ironbridge and Rugeley were shut with indecent haste before there was a proper plan to replace them.
That's the trouble with democracy, it's all about the short term. Sir Nick rightly calculated he would be long gone when the chickens came home to roost.
Presumably, then, the solution would be to have an unaccountable, unassailable leader who stays in office for, say, 23 years, and pursues 10-year plans for state-controlled monopolies administered by his oligarch cronies. Ideally a short fellow, who likes posing on horseback with his shirt off. Oh, hang on...
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Sir David Thompson, Chief Constable of West Midlands Police, complains of police being used a "culture-war football."
He was reacting to criticism of police officers performing an idiotic dance routine at a Gay Pride event in Derbyshire.
Just an idea. But if you don't want to be a "culture-war football", how about keeping out of the culture war? Y'know, no dancing, no rainbow garlands, no posturing about "inclusivity". Just stick to nicking villains and we'll all be happy.
