Mark Andrews: Novak teaches our batsmen a lesson and why Prince Harry is like a broken clock

After 11 days of legal wrangling, Novak Djokovic has finally been deported from Australia. Now there's a first. Time was when misdeeds were punished by deporting transgressors to Australia.

Still, the surly ping-pong player should be congratulated for lasting as long as he did. It only took the Aussies a few hours to get the England Test team out.

While I wouldn't describe myself as the biggest fan of Harry Markle, the whining Prince of Woke. But even a broken clock is right a couple of times a day, and I struggle to see what the objection is to allowing him to pay for his own police security while visiting this country.

'Government sources' are quoted as somewhat pompously saying "Scotland Yard is not for hire", but is that really the case?

Every week, Premier League Football Clubs pay police forces for security at their grounds. Nowhere near as much as they should mind, but that is another argument.

We are constantly told police do not have the resources to deal with the crimes that real people are concerned about, such as burglaries, muggings, vandalism and shoplifting. And here is a bloke awash with cash because a few gullible Americans are so obsessed with celebrity that they can't tell the difference between a couple of politically correct wellness bores and somebody with something meaningful to say.

If the Met Police leaders had an ounce of common sense, they would take Harry for every penny they could, and use the money to protect ordinary Londoners.

Hot on the heels of last week's call for dogs to be 'phased out', another green fanatic has taken to the airwaves calling for new laws banning the construction of new conservatories.

Without a hint of self-awareness, Angela Terry delivered her lecture live on breakfast television from her, ahem, conservatory. People who live in glasshouses, and all that.

"Conservatories concentrate heat and act like a furnace for the rest of your house basically," she said. She said this would be a problem as the weather gets warmer.

And what has any of that got to do with her? If somebody wants to turn their home into a "furnace", it is up to them. It doesn't harm anyone else.

We are told not to use gas or coal to heat our homes because it is bad for the planet. We are being told to spend thousands of pounds on insulation to keep the heat in.

And now we are being told not to build extensions with glass roofs because they may heat the home naturally. Some people are never happy unless telling others what to do.