Mark Andrews on Saturday: A blight on the landscape and a case of astounding incompetence

The Government has announced it will be phasing out its 2G and 3G mobile phone services by 2033, to release frequencies for the 5G and 6G services.

I don't know whether my old Nokia will still work by then, because frankly I've got no interest in whatever G my phone is. But I suppose you can't really complain that 12 years is short notice.

What I have yet to hear though is anybody actually make a positive case for why we need any more Gs. The strongest argument I have heard so far is that 5G is necessary to power driverless cars and things like that. And I've never met anybody outside the tech industry who actually wants one of those either.

So far, the only contribution that 5G has made to my life is the hideous-looking cabins that have started to pop up, blighting the landscape. Something I don't recall there being much consultation about.

And of course, there will be even more ugly boxes around when every house has to have a heat pump installed outside. These things are fine in the countryside where they can be disguised in the grounds of the property, but what is it going to be like when every tiny inner-city terraced house has to have one?

It was interesting to read, though, that one of the justifications for switching off the older signal is that phone manufacturers will no longer have to support earlier technology. Which of course means that older devices will become obsolete, and will need to be replaced.

Which is great news for the handset manufacturers, which will be able to sell us the Chinese-made iPhone 49 or iPad 28 or whatever. But how exactly does that fit in with all the pledges about becoming carbon neutral?

The other presumed benefit of endlessly updating the mobile phone network will be the money generated from selling off the frequencies in auctions. The auction for the 5G signal raised £1.38 billion, and the 4G auction before that made more than £2.34 billion, which I suppose will come in useful given that the country is up to its eyeballs in debt.

The Exchequer also takes £28 billion a year in road fuel duties at the moment, which will obviously be lost when petrol and diesel cars start to disappear from our roads. Which by happy coincidence, will begin to kick in some time during the 2030s...

There is little more to be said about the breathtaking arrogance exemplified by the 'Partygate' footage, so I will just marvel at the sheer incompetence and stupidity of Allegra Stratton. This is supposed to be a top, experienced journalist, recruited following a painstaking process at the taxpayers' expense, and earning not far off the Prime Minister's salary. And she allowed herself to be filmed giggling about breaches of lockdown like a teenager making videos for YouTube.

It may seem harsh that she has carried the can for other people's misdemeanours. But something tells me she won't be missed.