Mark Andrews on Saturday: Guy Who?, a statesman-like Queen, and Sleepy Joe jets in to save the planet

Remember, remember, the 5th of November. Except that it seems a pretty significant number of young people today never knew anything about it in the first place.

According to a new survey, 23 per cent think Bonfire Night is a pagan festival, and a further 17 per cent think it is about warding off evil spirits. A quarter appear to have never heard of Guy Fawkes, and of those that have, one in 10 think he was a fictitious character, seven per cent think he invented fireworks, with a similar number believing he invented the dining fork.

Now this would be mildly amusing if this was a survey of primary school kids, but the 'young people' questioned were actually aged 16-29. Many of these will hold degrees, and spend their time accusing those who don't share their views on Brexit or global warming of being uneducated.

Of course, it's not their fault. Responsibility lies firmly with the generation that is supposed to have provided them with an education. But given that today's young adults clearly have such an appalling understanding of their country's history, can there now be any possible justification for taking up valuable teaching time with lessons in transgender studies and climate change?

Meanwhile Sleepy Joe Biden attacked Chinese leader Xi Jinping and Russia's Vladimir Putin for failing to show up for the Cop 26 jamboree in Glasgow. Far be it from me to defend two of the most unsavoury regimes in the world today, but Joe is on a sticky wicket with that one. Because while it took a convoy of 22 different vehicles to take the US President back to Air Force One, Xi and Putin by their absence at least avoided any such contribution to their carbon footprint.

Indeed, the whole Cop26 sums up all that is wrong with the modern environmental movement. Four hundred private jets, a building needlessly bathed in green illumination, an Olympic-style opening ceremony, followed by pious lectures from big-tech plutocrats, and chauffeur-driven world leaders congratulating each other for telling the plebs to ditch their cars.

The only leader who emerged from it with any dignity is the one who was conspicuous by her absence. While the politicians blustered, the Queen delivered a dignified, understated message that statesmanship meant thinking about future generations, not showboating for headlines.

And while the Prime Minister took a private jet back to enjoy supper at the Garrick, Her Majesty was pictured the next day driving her modest old Jaguar X-Type, probably worth less than the cost of Boris's flight.

That's statesmanship.