Mark Andrews on Saturday: Diary dilemma, a touch of polycentrism, and a lack of respect for Captain Tom
Read the latest column from Mark Andrews.
Oh, the joys of online shopping. Having once again struggled to find a simple office diary in the shops, I reluctantly turned to the internet, where one was available for £2.59, postage included.
A week after it was due to arrive, a card drops on the doormat telling me that because the seller hasn't paid the correct postage, I will have to pay £2 to collect it from the delivery office. And this is what people are deserting the high street for?
* * *
It is 20 years this week since Wolverhampton became a city, and like most provincial centres, it has experienced mixed fortunes over that time.
But it could have been worse. Much worse.
I have just dug out a report from 2003, when the four 'Black Country authorities' of Dudley, Sandwell, Wolverhampton and Walsall drew up their joint vision of how the area would look in 30 years' time.
I'll leave the debate about where the Black Country actually is for another day, and instead focus on the four councils' nightmarish ambitions for the area.
They forecast that, 12 years from now, the area would have morphed into a 'polycentric European city' made up of 'four thriving and distinct retail and commercial city centres'.
Polly who? It sounds like a former technical college which is now a university. Or some trendy new sexual minority featured in a lot of Channel Four documentaries.
Likening the 'polycentric city' to Venice, they predicted the Black Country would be the 2024 European Capital of Culture, while by 2033 West Bromwich would be famous for its C-Plex arts centre. It said Wolverhampton would become a renowned seat of learning, with Peking University opening a new campus. Meanwhile, Brierley Hill would be a leading retail magnet, and "the traditional centre of Dudley will have been transformed into a national icon for urban living and its recreational and leisure facilities." Well, Brierley Hill High Street now has a branch of Home Bargains. And if a few grotty bedsits above the shops in Dudley constitutes a 'national icon for urban living', I guess it's mission accomplished.
Of course, the C-Plex, or The Public as it became known, lasted just five years, mainly because people only went in to use the toilets. And the Peking University hasn't materialised, which means it will probably be more than 12 years before Wolverhampton is able to give Harvard and Yale a real run for their money.
I'm not sure which makes me laugh most. How spectacularly off-beam those predictions were. Or how grateful we should be that the 'polycentric European city' came to nothing.
* * *
Farewell Sir Tom Moore, how sad somebody who did so much to help others at such a grand age would die with this cruel virus.
Yet within 14 minutes of his death being made public, some online commentator who I won't dignify by naming issued a rambling statement on Twitter about how Captain Tom had been 'venerated to idol status by the state' to 'deflect from critique of cuts'.
How sad that some people are so obsessed with politics that their first reaction to the death of a 100-year-old war veteran and fundraiser is not quiet sadness and respect, but to seize the opportunity to score cheap points.
Just as Sir Tom showed how the pandemic could bring out the best in humanity, social media certainly brings out the very worst.