Mark Andrews on Saturday: Free thinkers and laughs without lectures

Incoming BBC director-general Tim Davie has sent Twitter into meltdown by pledging to "tackle perceived left-wing bias" in the corporation's comedy output.

Enraged social-media warriors say it will take comedy back to the 70s, with wall-to-wall repeats of Jim Davidson and Bernard Manning to counter the enlightened critiques of Nish Kumar, Russell Brand and Frankie Boyle.

I think they are missing the point. What most people outside the smug London bubble are asking for is not a new generation of right-wing comics telling crude jokes about minorities, we just want them to shut up about politics altogether.

We want comedians whose talent extends beyond sharing their predictable views on Donald Trump and Brexit, and who realise that dreary monologues about 'gammon' is no substitute for wit.

And if today's woke comedians really want to talk about the 1970s, perhaps they should watch some old clips of Mike Yarwood, Morecambe & Wise, and Frank Carson, who managed to get laughs without telling us every five minutes about their voting intentions. Or learn how Les Dawson, Mike & Bernie, Bob Monkhouse and Jimmy Tarbuck managed to appeal to all sections of society, without feeling the urge to share their thoughts on Richard Nixon or the Common Market.

Hopefully, Mr Davie's new directive means we will have laughs without the lectures.

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You know you're getting older when the head of the civil service starts looking younger.

Boris Johnson has just appointed 41-year-old Simon Case to the role, described by his allies as a 'free-thinker'. Which sounds suspiciously like 'Yes Minister' code for 'send for the men in white coats'.

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Talking of free-thinkers, Indian politician Swami Chakrapani reckons he has won the race to find a cure for the coronavirus. Best of all, Swami's cure involves no nasty injections or tablets. Just sip a nice long, cool glass of cow urine, and you should be as right as rain. Do you want ice with that?

At the same time, French 'eco feminist' baker Louise Raguet has taken to collecting urine from ladies' toilets in Paris to make her new “Boucle d’Or” or “Goldilocks bread”. Yum, yum. And flushed with that success, she now plans to take things a step further and “break taboos over excrement”, which I'm sure will go down a storm at all the dinner parties in Shoreditch.

Talk about taking the pee.

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The equally free-thinking Piers Corbyn – the slightly whacky brother of ex-Labour leader Jeremy – has been fined £10,000 for organising a peaceful protest in London against the wearing of face masks.

Fair enough. Bringing 10,000 people in to a crowded space does not seem terribly responsible at the moment, even if you do believe the coronavirus, along with global warming and 5G telephones, is part of an international conspiracy to bring us all under the control of foreign oligarchs.

But I do trust the same punishment will be meted out to the Extinction Rebellion mob, up to its old tricks this week, and causing far more disruption than Piers ever did. I won't hold my breath.