Mark Andrews: Socialites, bubbles and a very weak link

Every report about the Ghislaine Maxwell case seems to describe her as being 'a socialite', without ever explaining what it is that a socialite actually does.

It was the same with Paris Hilton, and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson before her.

As far as I can see, a socialite's duties involve hanging around with a lot of very rich people, sipping champagne on very expensive yachts, and looking decorative. If that is the case, how does one become a socialite, and what qualifications do you need? It all sounds jolly good fun, and as Yosser Hughes might say, "I can do that". But you never see these jobs advertised down the labour exchange, do you?

Japanese scientists say that flying robots with bubble guns could save the planet. Endangered bees are critical our existence because of their role in pollinating plants.

But Eijiro Miyako, of the Japan Advanced Institute of Science and Technology in Nomi, says the small robots could do their pollination job for them by dispensing soap bubbles.

I've no idea whether there is any truth in that, but you have got to admit it sounds more fun than any of the ideas put forward by Extinction Rebellion.

Bosses at West Midlands Fire Service have banned crews from flying the Black Country flag, which depicts the region's glass and chain-making heritage, until they have conducted research into the 'meaning of the chains' on it.

I suspect their inquiries will conclude that they are large chunks of metal which used to be made in the Black Country in vast quantities, before half our manufacturing industries went abroad.

The chief fire officer says he is investigating 'a potential link to slavery'. But the problem with searching for ever more tenuous links to slavery is that you end up missing the wood for the trees.

For example, how many people worrying about flags, chains and statues, will think nothing about driving a Volkswagen, which began life as Hitler's 'People's Car'? And then there is Skoda, which was reportedly making use of forced labour as recently as the 1980s.

Worse still, there's Hugo Boss, which supplied Hitler's army with socks made out of the hair of Holocaust victims. Mercedes-Benz, which not long ago was supplying vehicles to West Midlands Fire Service, was also inextricably linked to the German regime.

Personally I think it's time to move on, and accept that these companies today have very little in common with their less-than-illustrious past. But it is hypocritical to turn a blind eye when it's convenient, while sanctimoniously banging on about things that happened hundreds of years ago.

And if the woke-folk want to do something that will really make a difference, they should focus on the here-and-now and boycott the Chinese technology giants which are inextricably linked to a repressive regime which keeps people in detention camps for no other reason than being Muslim.

But how may of the social justice warriors can you see going without their Tik-Tok or their mobile phones?