Mark Andrews: Banksy, face masks, and underage boozing

For decades, this petty vandal has been making a nuisance of himself, defacing public places with his juvenile eyesores. But because he has built up a following from a few hipsters on social media, he is treated like some kind of modern-day Vincent Van Gogh.

It's a shame Mrs Mopp's efforts were not captured on camera, as they would have made a great 'live art' entry for next year's Turner Prize.

Maybe if more people followed the lead of the cleaner on the tube, and treated Banksy's daubings with the contempt they deserve, then other young people would be less likely to deface their surroundings.

* * *

It's also rather telling that whenever somebody posts videos of themselves driving like an idiot over the internet, they usually end up getting their collars felt a few days later, and quite rightly so.

Yet when Banksy films himself spraying graffiti over public transport, he gets a slot on News at 10 and a feature in The Guardian. Now I suppose what he is doing is not dangerous, but even so, after all these years of brazenly breaking the law, somebody might have caught him.

* * *

In March, deputy chief medical officer Dr Jenny Harries was told the general public not to wear masks in everyday situations, warning they could actually increase the risk of infection. By the end of this week, it's going to be compulsory when you go down the shops.

The cynic in me thinks Health Secretary Matt Hancock gave the game away when he said the new rules would "give people more confidence to shop safely."

In other words, it's about perception rather than safety, and getting people back into the shops.

Fair enough, but does he really think that encouraging everyone to dress up like Dick Turpin will instil confidence? Does it make you want to go down the shops? Still, I'm sure it will make all the criminals feel safer.

* * *

One group said to be very supportive of the face-mask rule is underage drinkers. According to reports – and it's in the Daily Mirror so it must be true – there is a new craze of mask-wearing youths dressing up as old-age pensioners to buy booze, and then posting the results on social media.

You do have to admire their creativity. When I was 17, I decided that not wearing glasses would make me look a bit older. So minus the bins, I swaggered into the village off-licence, picked up the first bottle of wine I saw (we weren't very discerning at that age), paid for it without being questioned. Feeling pretty pleased with myself, I boldly walked out and presented the booty to my friends who had been sheepishly waiting outside.

The kudos was shortlived. As soon as I was able to see again, I realised the bottle I had picked up was alcohol-free.