Mark Andrews on Saturday: Why it's a bit Rich for Branson to ask for help

Now maybe I'm being unrealistic in expecting social media to be in the vanguard of intelligent and discussion and good taste, but even so, where did the latest craze of people filming themselves downing a pint in tribute to the NHS come from?

Clapping, yes, I get that. A minute's silence in memory of the medics and care staff who gave their lives helping others, completely appropriate. But guzzling a pint in one go, without pausing for breath? That's just crass.

Apart from the fact it is a waste of good beer – or nasty lager in most cases – perhaps someone could enlighten as to how that is a tribute to the NHS? Particularly as the NHS spends is usually telling us to cut down drinking.

Bad news for Zachary Bowler, a prisoner who arrived at Leeds jail with a Kinder egg full of drugs up his backside. Zach, who had been given two-and-a-half years for beating his girlfriend with a cricket bat, has now had another 14 weeks added to his sentence for drug offences.

Boris Johnson is said to have grimaced in horror when he was shown the X-ray scans. At least until somebody explained it was the prisoner's, and not Carrie's.

Now that would be a Kinder Surprise.

Meanwhile, the shy and erudite Janet Street-Porter feels the congratulations about Boris's latest son are a bit over the top, given his louche lifestyle, affairs and failed marriages. For a few moments I thought she had a point, until I realised Janet has been divorced four times, with three of her marriages lasting just two years. Pots, kettles, glasshouses, Janet.

Probably everything has been said about the flamingo which found lockdown so frustrating it decided to make a break from Dudley Zoo, and was seen wandering outside the Hippodrome last week.

But, still, it's a good excuse to retell the old Tommy Mundon joke about a lion escaping from Dudley Zoo, and being spotted by a member of the public as it headed towards Tipton.

"What yo' gonna to do abaert it?" inquired the resident, in a frantic phone call to the police.

"Nothing," replied the desk sergeant. "I'm sure it can fend for itself."

Sir Richard Branson is asking the Government to bail out his ailing airline, which faces an uncertain future because of the coronavirus crisis.

It has been rightly pointed out that Sir Richard has not paid any UK income tax for 14 years, after moving to the British Virgin Islands, so it is a bit rich for the billionaire to ask the hard-pressed British taxpayer to bail him out now he's hit a spot of bother.

The trouble is, though, that if Virgin Atlantic does collapse, it won't be Sir Richard signing on down the labour exchange or worrying about how he is going to pay the mortgage. The ones who suffer will be his staff, the ordinary working people who have been diligently paying their taxes for years.