Film Talk: Paul Rudd leads the stampede in Death of a Unicorn
The man genuinely does not age. I know I’m jumping on a monstrously oversized bandwagon by saying so, but seriously, Paul Rudd, I’ll have what you’re having.
First known to many as Mike Hannigan, aka Mr Phoebe Buffay, in Friends, Rudd had already starred in Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet and made his name in the Halloween film series before becoming a Central Perk regular.
Readers who are a little more wet behind the ears will be more familiar with Rudd’s antics with the Judd Apatow gang (Anchorman, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up and the like), and of course his tenure as Scott Lang/Ant-Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Wherever you know him from, one thing is constant: The Peter Pan of Planet Hollywood’s face hasn’t changed. Ever. I was hoping he would one day reveal that a bourbon at breakfast was the secret to his timeless visage, yet Paul Rudd has alas confirmed that a disappointingly beige combination of sleep, diet and exercise are responsible for his eternal youth.
Damn and blast. So much for the fountain or the grail then. Films can be so fake.
One thing’s for certain – if Rudd’s baby face was ever assisted by a cheeky bit of supernatural homeopathy, he may be about to upset his suppliers (and lack of frown lines) with new flick, Death of a Unicorn. Spoiler alert, he attempts to bring about the end of one of the sacred mythical beasts by smacking it with a wheel brace. The gods may not like that.
Written and directed by Alex Scharfman, this one puts Rudd alongside Jenna Ortega in a father and daughter comedy-horror yarn also starring Richard E. Grant and Will Poulter. Be warned, ladies and gentlefolk… There are unicorns, but not as we know them.
The sun is shining and we’re getting ever closer to summer blockbuster season. Time to kick back and let the magic of the flicks (and their unicorns) do their thing.
DEATH OF A UNICORN (UK 15/ROI 15A TBC, 107 mins) ***
Released: April 4 (UK & Ireland)
Popular culture has appropriated the unicorn as a rainbow-coloured metaphor for a highly desirable individual, who dares to stand out from the herd.
Writer-director Alex Scharfman’s comedy horror rifles through literature and art dating back hundreds of years to reaffirm the unicorn as a ferocious beast steeped in myth, which is capable of wondrous healing and can only be tamed by a virtuous and pure-hearted maiden.
Young women of such noble heritage are even rarer than horned beasts in Scharfman’s gory picture, which unleashes a family of unicorns to enthusiastically impale human victims on their spiralling protrusions.
Characters marked for death are glaringly obvious: they either attempt to kill the magical creatures for personal gain, and consequently ‘deserve’ a grim fate, or foolishly press their heads against a door or wooden panelling to listen for the sound of approaching hooves and are rewarded with tapered bone in their brain matter.
The quality of the digital trickery, which melds the creatures with live-action elements and human actors, varies wildly.
Any scenes where unicorns are at full gallop or stalking prey in domestic settings, like the velociprators in Jurassic Park, are especially jarring.
Widowed corporate lawyer Elliot Kintner (Paul Rudd) drives into the countryside with his college student daughter, Ridley (Jenna Ortega), to attend an urgent summit called by his terminally ill boss, Odell Leopold (Richard E Grant). The billionaire philanthropist has exhausted vast resources to find a medical cure for cancer and is looking to put pen to paperwork to officially confirm Elliot’s role in continuing his legacy when he is gone, under the aegis of Odell’s wife Belinda (Tea Leoni) and spoilt son Shepard (Will Poulter).
En route to the Leopold mansion in the middle of a nature reserve, Elliot fails to pay attention to the road and hits a white-furred “horse-like mammalia”.
Father and daughter arrive traumatised at the Leopold complex, with a dead unicorn in the boot of their car. They are greeted by Odell’s personal assistant Shaw (Jessica Hynes) and long-suffering butler Griff (Anthony Carrigan).
Soon after, cries fill the night-time air and the Kintners and Leopolds deduce the deceased was part of a herd.
Death Of A Unicorn is an entertaining but tonally uneven romp through superstition. Ortega’s outcast is the only wholly likeable character, forging an unspoken bond to the magical creatures by touching a glowing horn shortly before her father wields a tyre iron to put one injured animal out of its misery.
Intentionally overblown death sequences and jump scares are slathered in viscera to elicit gasps of shock and disgust.
Scharfman’s film may not be a unicorn in common parlance but it’s not destined for the knacker’s yard either.
A MINECRAFT MOVIE (UK PG/ROI PG, 101 mins) ***
Released: April 4 (UK & Ireland)
Director Jared Hess reunites with Nacho Libre leading man Jack Black for a rollicking family-friendly adventure based on the best-selling video game of all time.
One-time arcade game world champion Garrett “The Garbage Man” Garrison (Jason Momoa) buys the contents of a storage unit and unknowingly acquires the Orb of Dominance, which can open a portal between worlds.
A young boy named Henry (Sebastian Hansen), who has recently moved to Idaho with his older sister Natalie (Emma Myers), unwittingly activates the Orb and is sucked through a portal along with Natalie, Garrett and property agent Dawn (Danielle Brooks).
The quartet become stranded in the Overworld, facing hordes of Piglins commanded by evil Malgosha (voiced by Rachel House).
The terrified gate-crashers join forces with the Orb’s protector, Steve (Jack Black), to restore peace and find their way back home.
MR BURTON (UK 12A/ROI 12A, 124 mins) ***
Released: April 4 (UK & Ireland, selected cinemas)
Bafta-winning director Marc Evans helms a touching true story of friendship, which gave birth to one of the greatest actors of a generation.
Released to coincide with what would have been Richard Burton’s 100th birthday, the film opens in 1942 Port Talbot.
Schoolboy Richard Jenkins (Harry Lawtey) is the son of a miner, who is struggling to survive in the shadow of the Second World War.
The youngster’s natural aptitude for drama catches the eye of teacher Philip Burton (Toby Jones) and he takes Richard under his wing, fanning the flames of his student’s burning passion.
Kindly landlady Ma Smith (Lesley Manville) is valuable support for Richard as he chases his dreams but the past is an anchor that threatens to hold down a rising star.
LAST SWIM (UK 15/ROI 15A, 96 mins) ***
Released: April 4 (UK & Ireland, selected cinemas)
The fortunes of an aspiring astrophysicist may be written in the stars in a British coming-of-age drama directed by Sasha Nathwani.
On a sweltering summer’s day, British-Iranian teenager Ziba (Deba Hekmat) secures the A-Level grades she needs to study her dream subject at University College London.
She celebrates in the company of friends Merf (Jay Lycurgo), Shea (Solly McLeod) and Tara (Lydia Fleming) as the girls zigzag across the capital.
An older student, Malcolm (Denzel Baidoo), unexpectedly gatecrashes the reverie and draws attention to the fears and insecurities that have taken root behind Ziba’s characteristic optimism.
As day turns to starlit night, Ziba confronts dark secrets and her radical plans for the immediate future.
SEBASTIAN (UK 18/ROI 18 TBC, 110 mins) ***
Released: April 4 (UK & Ireland, selected cinemas)
Prolonged scenes of strong sex and nudity punctuate writer-director Mikko Makela’s provocative drama.
Max (Ruaridh Mollica) is a 25-year-old staff member at a London literary magazine, who harbours ambitions of becoming a writer.
Taking heed of the advice that you should create art from the well of experience, Max fashions an alter ego named Sebastian and moonlights as an after-hours sex worker as research for his debut novel.
What begins as a journey of self-discovery in the name of autobiographical fiction becomes a life-changing odyssey that forces Max to question his deeper sense of self.
Unshackled from society’s expectations and his own past, Max faces a stark choice between art and unvarnished authenticity.
FOUR MOTHERS (UK 15/ROI 15A, 89 mins) ***
Released: April 4 (UK & Ireland, selected cinemas)
Talented novelist Edward (James McArdle) cares for his elderly mother, Alma (Fionnula Flanagan), as he edges closer to international literary success.
He is excited about an upcoming book tour, which will take him to America.
Three gay friends, Billy (Gordon Hickey), Colm (Gearoid Farrelly) and Dermot (Rory O’Neill), plan an impromptu trip to Spain for Pride celebrations and entrust their respective mothers to Edward.
Suddenly, the writer is faced with caring for Jean (Dearbhla Molloy), Maude (Stella McCusker) and Rosey (Paddy Glynn) as well as his own mother for one chaotic weekend in a bittersweet Irish comedy drama directed by Darren Thornton, co-written with his brother Colin.
